poetry therapy

i just came across the web site for the national association of poetry therapy. this is what they say about it:

Poetry therapy is the intentional use of the written and spoken word for healing and personal growth. Poetry, literature, journals and song lyrics help individuals see themselves fully, and in time they come to experience the hidden facets of them

well.

perhaps there could have been a more poetic way of expressing this – but hey, the idea is right on. poetry has certainly helped me figure out a lot of problems in my life.

in their newsletters, they suggest poetry prompts. i followed the one that had something to do with grandparents. i’ll give you the poem first and tomorrow i’ll tell you more about the prompt and what i thought of/felt about the process.


no eggshell was to leave the house
on the garbage truck, no dishwater
was to go down the drain – all, all must
make the pilgrimage to the compost heap.
over in the northwest corner
of the garden, precisely there,
not a little to the left or
a little further in, and
precisely there the eggshells and
the water and all the peels and
seeds and rinds must go. in that corner,
bordering the wheat field, the one
i tried to walk across barefoot
once after it was mown, the one
with cornflowers and shock-red
poppies.

i could see the
compost heap from my room up in
the attic, sitting on the old
dark green velvet couch, the room
beside my grandfather’s study
where i’d hear him type, type, type
his sermons before and after
tending to the compost heap.

my grandfather, the only person
who could get me to enjoy
playing the violin, even
though he made me cry, too,
my grandfather, who’d let me read
late into the night against his
better judgment, and who took us
on hikes through dark, soft woods by
medieval castles, made us pick
berries in the dry heat of summer,
who couldn’t stand people listening
to music in the background –
“listen to it, listen!“

my grandfather, a passionate kaleidoscope of earthiness and curiosity and faithfulness and tolerance, an old-time patriarch, a quiet man in his study, loudly typing out his heart.



... more tomorrow ...

isabella
moritherapy
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

those poor fat chickens

this just in from medical news today



Can You Catch Obesity? Apparently You Can, Say Researchers
Category: Obesity/Overweight/Fitness News
Article Date: 30 Jan 2006 - 15:00pm (UK)

In the past, all we had to worry about was our ability, or inability, to resist fattening foods. According to new research, many cases of obesity may be the result of an infectious disease - more specifically, the human adenovirus Ad-37. According to Dr L Whigham and team, Dept of Nutritional Sciences, Wisconsin University, obesity is a chronic and complex disease. He says that there are lots of factors contributing to the broad epidemic. He adds that it is very possible that the obesity explosion is partially due to an infectious disease.

You can read about this study in the American Journal of Physiology, Regulatory Integrative and Comparative Physiology. Dr Whigham says the human adenovirus Ad-37 makes chickens obese. Previous studies have indicated that other viruses, which are found in humans, can also trigger obesity. Whighan says his team have identified three viruses that make chickens, and most likely humans, fat. He says further research is needed to see how many of the other 50 or so adenoviruses may have similar effects.

The research team says the evidence is strong that viruses make humans and animals fat - they raise the amount of fat we carry in our fat cells. The aim of the team, after they have concluded their studies and identified which viruses make us fat, is to develop an anti-obesity vaccine that targets these viruses. Dr Whigham said there are people who are not fat but carry the virus. He stressed that good diet and exercise still plays a crucial role in regulating our weight and good health. He says he does not know how diet and exercise interact with the virus.

Many have written to Medical News Today on this theme. The common thread among the e-mails is that diet and physical activity play the major roles on how much we weigh. We all lead alarmingly sedentary lives and we eat too much processed junk food - and too much food. One person emailed in with: ‘These chickens in the study that got fat because they had the virus - were they sedentary? What would happen if you split the chickens up into two groups? One group with the virus, but doing lots of exercise and eating good food in the right quantity, and the other group without the virus, sedentary, with loads of fattening food. I bet the second group would be fatter. Perhaps the virus plays a tiny role - but I am sure diet and exercise are the factors that really matter.'

Written by: Christian Nordqvist



errr ... now what do we make of that? should we start buying stock in cadbury's? and why can't i get rid of the idea of overblown chicken breasts? maybe i should go to bed ...

isabella mori
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

open house

i had my open house yesterday! yay! it occurred to me only a few days ago that it was on the same day as chinese new years (an important date here in vancouver, where we have a large chinese population). chinese new years is also the same day as lunar imbolc, a pagan “cross-quarter day” festival.

so – while there were a bunch of people who didn’t show up for my open house because they were going to the new years parade, oh, and a surprising amount of people who didn’t show up because they were in hawaii or mexico – despite of that it was really neat to do this on such a day. it felt good to be in line with new beginnings, with people ready to have fun.

a whole bunch of people did show up, to chat and to eat haedy’s great quiche and glenn’s fantastic scones. baljit was there, nanci, too, and lots of others (but i don’t have any web sites for them). carol couldn’t make it because of a sick grandchild.

thanks everyone for showing up! it’s really great to get your support!!!!

isabella
www.moritherapy.com

food addiction

here's a poem i wrote many years ago (still has my "maiden" name on it). it's neat to see that eventually i did ask the oracle what it meant ...


read the soup last night
12 midnight
was good
good hot soup in the fall
few days before new moon

read the soup and the soup said
"i'm your noodle oracle -
mamma mamma,
hear you cry mamma",
the noodle soople oracle said to me
"mamma mamma,
hear you cry mamma"
and i nodded to the noodles -
reluctantly, i dare say,
but i noddled, yes,
covered in lavender sports coat over beige lady outfit
cause it was starting to get cold
12 midnight
a few days into fall -
but the soup was good and hot.

a few days before new moon
the noodle pasta ooracle said
furthermore
- as i slurped -
"listen, between those wafts
of monosodium glutamate fogs
rising up from my steaming body,
listen, i can feel
you
the eater of my noodle essence
longing for more warmth
than my hot liquid can ever give you.
i can see you yearn
for softer softness
than my white dough even though
it caresses, traverses, mushingly, over your lips and tongue -
and no one noodle, gliding down inner throat into
the depths of your sad, weeping stomach
can fathom the ravine of your soul
- needing more, needing more -"

there i stopped.
i stop now.
do i want to hear more, noodle oracle?
do i want?
do i?

and yes
the moreness of my hungry, driven soul
lifts its arms and says
"give me, soup, more of your nasty, disturbing
words
give me
more
as more is that which i always
want."

so the soup says,
"see -
there's more of me ...
in other forms and other words ...
i hear you cry mamma
pasta mamma pasta mamma
but mamma is gone
yet
there is more of me ...
in other forms and other words ..."

and i pretend
not to stand
not to under-stand
words
pasta oracle noodle words
i pretend
to be hungry for food ...

until i can't stand
i can't stand
it no more.

that day
i will ask the pesky pasta oracle
what it is that it meant
and where it is that i can get
more
because i need more.



but not now.
my coat is warm.
my bed, waiting, soft.
and noodles, for now, cover that hungry soul within me.






isabella von huendeberg
(dedicated to andrew feldmar)
copyright
5 october 1991

hello from isabella 

tests, tests, tests

i don’t know what this strange fascination with tests is but i certainly tend to yield to it. there is something so satisfying about checking of a multiple choice! pretty silly. anyways, if you like tests, here are some you mind find amusing, maybe even interesting.

then there’s beliefnet’s famous belief-o-matic (i think what i like most about this test is its name). the religious affiliations that i’m closest to, according to this test, are

Unitarian Universalism
Liberal Quakers
Liberal Christian
Protestants
Mayahana Buddhism
Neo-Pagan

well, that’s tru-ish. and when you compare this to other tests, below, i am clearly marked as a bona fide bleeding heart.



then there’s a million personality tests out there. my favourite is keirsey’s. i like the way the test is laid out, with a ranking of answers instead of yes/no answers – it’s just a bit more sophisticated. supposedly i’m this:

Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in striving for their ends, and informative and introverted in their interpersonal relations. Healer present a seemingly tranquil, and noticiably pleasant face to the world,and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.

spark.com has all kinds of weird tests, one of them the unintelligence test. here is an excerpt of my results:

" The subject shows an astounding level of intelligence, and her sense of observation is one of her best qualities. Considering this, she shows a lot of potential, but that's only part of the equation.

Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen. She just isn't tough enough, sir, and avoids any situation that involves violence.

Finally, the subject displayed a poor (and a little bit boring) sense of humor, a nearly satanic lack of morality, and a complete lack of self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals. "

if you want to find out whether you’re depressed, you can go here




and here is my blogging personality:

You are an AKMA.

You stand out from the crowd because of deeply held beliefs in the unknown.

You ponder endlessly and treat everyone, even fucknozzles, with respect.

WWAD (what would AKMA do) guides your actions.
Take the What Blogging Archetype Are You test at GAZM.org


so there you have it.

take care on this rainy day, of yourselves and of each other,
isabella
moritherapy
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

wondering about obesity?

good evening everyone

ever wondered about the sudden increase in an interest in obesity in the last 10 years or so? if you’re a cynic like me (yes, part cynic, part polyanna) you were probably also asking yourself whose interests are behind all this. especially since to this day, i haven’t seen anything that proves increased mortality rates (or lower life expectancies) for people who do not develop the kinds of illnesses that are often associated with obesity (such as diabetes, joint problems, etc.)

don’t get me wrong – i think that eating healthy and exercising well are really important. but this whole preoccupation with weight … i don’t know …

anyway, here’s an excerpt of an article that looks at the obesity debate. it’s about this woman, abigail c. saguy, who is studying this from a larger-picture point of view. (thanks to the big fat blog, who brought this to my attention).

here goes …

Based on an evaluation of more than 100 books, articles and studies about the issue and interviews with researchers and activists, the study documents mounting opposition to anti-obesity messages since 1994 when the rise first grabbed public attention. In the intervening decade, the number of articles published about obesity has tripled in medical journals and quadrupled in the popular press, calculates Saguy and co-author Kevin W. Riley, a UCLA graduate student in sociology. A fierce "credibility struggle" has ensued between the anti-obesity camp and the camp advocating skepticism about the health risks of being heavy.

"The mistrust between these two camps can make it difficult to find a middle ground," concludes the study.
…..

"Media coverage of obesity overtook reporting on hunger and malnutrition in 2002 despite the fact that the World Health Organization deemed hunger to be the leading cause of world death," she said. "Similarly, cigarette smoking continues to be the leading cause of 'preventable death' despite the increasing shift of focus from smoking to obesity."
…..

Saguy argues that the medicalization of obesity is part of "a strategic attempt to make weight-loss treatments and surgery tax-deductible or covered by Medicare."

the full article reporting on saguy’s research can be found here:
http://www.college.ucla.edu/news/05/obesitystudy.html

thanks for reading!

take care, all of you
isabella
moritherapy
counselling in vancouver
http://www.moritherapy.com/

is this the vortex into which we just got sucked here in canada, now that it has been declared that the conservatives have won? no, i don't think so, i don't think that vortex looks so elegant. or maybe there's something i don't know about stephen harper, maybe he's a thoughtful, quiet artist somewhere deep inside? well, of course there's lots of things i don't know about him (not for lack of trying - nothing of interest i could find after quite a bit of intensive searching). so i know hardly anything about the man. but does he want me to know him? do politicians want people to know them? or am i just engaging in really tasteless, ho-hum, middle-of-the-road politician bashing?

i guess i might as well do the opposite (the thought of doing anything middle-of-the-road is even more distasteful to me than a conservative government - sad but true) and bless the man. even though i find that a bit difficult, given his religious convictions. but if tolerance and goodness for all is of high value for me, i might as well put my blessings where my mouth is ...

dear stephen. i bless you with wishes for wisdom, goodwill and compassion. may the next four years bring you insights you have never thought possible. may you realize that people of all sexual orientations are your brothers and sisters. may you see that the good great powers are the same for all of us, whether we call them allah, brigid, jesus or the great nameless one. may your heart melt in compassion, love and care for people who live in the shadows of poverty, illness and abuse. may you be struck by the beauty of tree saplings, caterpillars and tadpoles and do whatever you can to make their homes safe and clean. may you walk the golden path of honesty and fight off the siren calls of corruption, questionable backroom deals and self righteousness.

all of this will require extreme strength and at the same time humility. i wish that for you, and whatever it is you need to sustain them for the next four years.

god bless you.

isabella mori
moritherapy
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

a true story, divinely inspired

And God said, "Go forth and Spread My Word"

God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, Green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds. And Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God sent heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them. And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.

God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice. And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.

And God created the life-giving tofu. And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"And the man told the truth. And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

And Woman put aside the seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food. And God brought forth Weight-watchers. It didn't help.

And God created exercise machines with easy payments. And Man brought forth his Visa at 21 percent. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet of Nod, east of the polyester leisure suit.

And in the fullness of time, Woman received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement. It didn't help her, either.

(thanks to http://www.humorofhades.com/files/000165.shtml)

i just finished reading another mystery ... yes, i love mysteries. they're interesting, they don't have too much gore (which i can't handle) and best of all, they're often well written.

so i wanted to tell you about this book - the anderson tapes, lawrence sanders' first of many books, and figured, hey, let's see who else has read this book. so i search for that (no, i did not google it, i used yahoo) and come across this guy on this innnnteresting web site.

before i tell you more about that site, let me quickly pitch the anderson tapes. conceived in 1969, it is almost entirely written in dialogue taken from tapes and interspersed with letters, police reports and factual information ("tape NYPD-SIS-196-BL. premises of candy store at 4678 west end avenue." "ingrid macht, thirty four, ... 5 feet 5 inches; 112 pounds ... healed knife scar in X pattern on inside of left thigh ..."). this gives it a choppy, fragmented documentary feel that adds to the book's edge. edge there is a lot - it is the earliest-written mystery book that deals with really kinky stuff that i've come across. a few BDSM scenes that are not very graphic at all but just kinda freaky the way they're written. a few interesting observations on the nature of crime and criminals. and because it's written in the 60's, it's totally non-PC, which i find very refreshing.

so anyways ... i look around to see who has read it and came across 43 things. this is a really cool web site for goal setting and being supported in it.

.... so you see: crime pays! if i hadn't read the anderson tapes, who knows whether i would have found this site!

take care
isabella
moritherapy
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

affirmations, anyone?

i have an uneasy relationship with affirmations. on the one hand i know they can work, under certain circumstances, on the other, my logical mind mistrusts them and finds them plain silly. maybe one day i’ll be wanting to step in front of a mirror and say, “i love you” but that day hasn’t arrived yet. is that an inability to love myself or … who knows?

at any rate, there are some ways of using affirmations that make sense to me. one of the problems that i have with affirmations is that they often seem to contradict current reality. that offends my common sense. lynn grodzki has a remedy for that. she suggests to

1 design an affirmation of something you really want
2 make it something a bit “out there” – challenge yourself
3 write out the affirmation
4 write down your reaction to the affirmation (in the beginning, it might be quite negative)
5 repeat, repeat, repeat steps 3 and 4 (she talks of someone who, when the going gets tough, does this for one hour a day until she reaches the desired outcome)

you’ll find an example of this below, as well as some links to web sites that talk about affirmations.


beginning of this affirmation exercise …

i know the difference between being overly demanding and gently challenging
what a stupid sentence!

i know the difference between being overly demanding and gently challenging
well, i don’t.

i know the difference between being overly demanding and gently challenging
if i can’t put together a nice-sounding sentence then how can i know anything?

i know the difference between being overly demanding and gently challenging
i’ve never known the difference. why am i supposed to know that now?

notice the difference, some days after beginning this exercise?

i know the difference between being overly demanding and gently challenging
i still don’t like this sentence but i guess it doesn’t matter. i know what i mean by it.

i know the difference between being overly demanding and gently challenging
i wonder, if that was really true, how would i act?

i know the difference between being overly demanding and gently challenging
would i be less confused if that was really true?

i know the difference between being overly demanding and gently challenging
i’d really like that if that was my reality

links:
http://www.naropa.edu/faculty/johndavis/tp/medit2.html
http://www.coping.org/growth/affirm.htm#self
http://www.health-science-spirit.com/cancer8-mind.html

and a funny/sarcastic one …
http://www.des.emory.edu/mfp/affirmations2.html


take care, everyone!

isabella
moritherapy
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

identity vs. labels

the discussion on the “daily dose of queer” regarding gender identity (see january 15 blog) really made me think about the whole matter of identity.

what’s an identity? what do i need it for? why do others need me to have an identity? is an identity a type of label?

these are the questions that swirl around me:

when i step in front of a mirror and open my eyes, i want to recognize the person i see as me. can you imagine looking into a mirror and seeing, say, paul martin, or someone totally unrecognizable? actually, in fairy tales and myths, having no mirror reflection is a sign of evil. oliver sacks, in his fascinating book the man who mistook his wife for a hat paints a vivid picture of how terribly disorienting it can be when people cannot recognize faces (a neurological condition called face blindness or “prosopagnosia” – that’s our word for the day :)

the matter of face blindness brings up another aspect of identity. as i was thinking about this, i went from trying to imagine not recognizing myself to not being recognized by others. that really scared me. the thought of being invisible or just part of the landscape to those that matter to me is terrifying. (i saw “it’s a wonderful life” for the first time last christmas – this is exactly what happens to james stewart there).

so i want myself and others to be able to say, “this is isabella”. that’s my identity.

so how’s that different from a label?

a label, i think, is generic. it doesn’t care who has that label. and most labels aren’t so much for people, they’re for boxes with people parts in them. for example, part of me is in a big, big box labelled “woman”. another part of me is in a box called “mental health professional”. you and i are in number of boxes, too, labelled “internet users” and “english language readers”. some of these labels, like the latter two, are pretty neutral. others, like “honour roll student” or “troublemaker” have big red value stamps on them: GOOD!!! and BAD!!!

and that’s the issue. we want to be seen and recognized. we don’t want to be labelled. when i see who you are and acknowledge you, i see the whole person. when i label you, i take parts of you and stuff them in a box. and that’s just too cramped!

do you want your own blog - part 2

hello everyone

well, this is funny. here i'm getting ready to tell you what (very little) i know about blogging, and i start it off with a blunder. the first entry of "do you want your own blog" contains no text ... ;) - and then i find out that the first part didn't even get published (???) - looks like i still have a lot to learn ...

blogging is the simplest, simplest way of starting your own web site. it takes less than five minutes to start (at least with www.blogger.com, the host i'm using - i'm sure it's not much different for other hosts). and of course you can get really fancy, with pictures and sound and video and all the bells and whistles.

you can read blogs by directly going to the web site that contains the blog, or you can use what's called an RSS feed reader (RSS stands for "real simple syndication"). this is similar to web-based email. every time you log on to the feed site (the reader), you will find updates on all the blogs you're interested in. if you already use web based email like yahoo or gmail, you'll have a built-in reader there (e.g. in yahoo it's on the "my yahoo" page).

if you want to learn a little more about blogs, here are a few links:

• wikipedia on blogging
• is blogging for you? a quick checklist
• blogging as a form of journalism

gender identities

i've been looking around for a queer blog i like and finally found one. in one of the december blogs of daily dose of queer, there's an interesting conversation about what it can mean to be femme, and comments from me, a non-femme, not-really-straight, not-really-gay, not-really-bi, what-am-i, simply sexual human being.

enjoy the rest of your weekend!
isabella
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

vancouver magic

i just bought a great book, city magick, by christopher penczak. it contains some wonderful ideas and exercises about how to experience city environment in a new, reverent and magical way.

i feel very ambivalent about some aspects of city environment. for example, a few years ago, when a huge forest fire raged in kelowna, i was struck by the similarity and difference between the ravages of nature and the ravages of development. on the hills, the fires were consuming plants, animals, houses, streets. in the city, a new development had just consumed my favourite walking spot – a large piece of agricultural land, steeped in the typical semi-urban wildlife we find in smaller cities: a willow tree, a rain ditch, birds nesting in the bushes … instead of all of that, there were now rows upon rows of uni-coloured new houses, surrounded by a uni-coloured concrete wall – very depressing, and it seemed so dead.

it occurred to me that a few months after the fire, new life would spring up, fertilized even by the fire. but what kind of life would spring up in this new housing development? how long would it take for ANY kind of new plant and animal life to spring up there?

despite such misgivings, there is life and magick in the city. not only are there all these wonderful little undiscovered nature spots (the area across from van dusen gardens on oak street here in vancouver is my latest discovery) but the “truly” urban experience, with all its concrete and lights, can be a magical experience, too.

here is an idea inspired by penzcak:


walking the sidewalks.

after a little meditation and setting an intention about how you want to experience your environment, set outfor a walk. you may even dress in a particular way to underline the intent. for example, if you want to experience the city’s light magic, you could wear brightcolours.

take a map with you and start walking. as you do that, keep checking in with yourself so that you’re aware of your physical and emotional state. when you’re drawn to a sight, smell or sound, stop. experience it. ask what this experience is about. what’s the story of the smell, sight or sound? its energy? does it feel good, neutral, threatening, strange … whatever? when you encounter a negative energy, make sure to let it go so that it doesn’t stick. (if you’ve never practiced that, talk to someone who has experience with it – you can also learn something from this web site). what is your environment telling you? the trees, the buildings, the streets, the grass? who are the people living, loving, lounging, labouring there?

you could do this alone or with someone else. the someone else could be there with you in person or just in thought. i’m thinking i’d like to do this with our old dog blue, dead now so many years, whom i still miss.

when you find an interesting spot, you can mark it on your map. this could become your magical map …

when you get home or otherwise need to re-enter the “normal” city, make sure you mentally finish this experience. otherwise the trance-like state that you acquire in such an experience might linger and disorient you. i have done walks like that (although not EXACTLY like that) and every time they were an unforgettable experience.

have fun!
isabella
www.moritherapy.com
counselling in vancouver

some fun, at last

hello, and good noon!

it has come to my attention that there is too much seriousness in this blog.

in a humble attempt to remedy that, here are some quotes that you might find amusing:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.

Entropy isn't what it used to be.

If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were headed.

If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Time if fun when you're having flies. (Kermit the Frog)

When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by
reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

canaries in the soul

in healing the soul in the age of the brain, psychiatrist elio frattaroli states

the hippocratic oath says simply “i will follow that system or regimen which, according to my ability and judgment, i consider for the benefit of my patients, and abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous.” there’s nothing in the oath about relieving suffering because hippocrates understood that suffering may be a necessary part of the healing process.

frattaroli talks a lot about certain types of emotional challenges being signals to wake up to what causes us inner conflict. this is an interesting perspective.

many of us are familiar with the idea of certain types of physical discomfort being flags for “something’s going on.” i remember the story of a mother of three teenage boys, who had a lot of neck pain. it turned out that she had moments of literally experiencing her children as a “pain in the neck”. or i recall a client in whose presence i often felt drowsy – until he literally had a spiritual awakening.

it’s interesting to take the route of also seeing psychological discomfort or pain as a sign. frattaroli likens some instances of depression to the canary in the mines, which tells us that something’s rumbling underground. if the response to that is to do nothing but take medication it is like forcing the canary to stop issuing their warning calls and instead stay in the cage and keep on singing – until a catastrophe happens.

i don’t know that this perspective always works. to paraphrase a freudian saying, sometimes a depression is just a depression. i also don’t know how far one would want to take the idea of inner conflict. if joe is depressed because of how bad his ex wife used to treat him, i’m not sure that we need to add a story about inner conflict (“his need to be treated well conflicted with his experience in his marriage”).

but when an unpleasant emotional experience arises, such as depression, anxiety, phobia, etc., and it doesn’t soon appear clear what it’s all about, i think it’s useful to explore what inner conflict could be at the root of it. freud would approve of that. because a cigar sometimes is … well, to paraphrase mae west, “is that a cigar in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

isabella mori
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

btw, frattaroli's web site has an interesting video about his ideas about the sopranos.

nelson mandela, bob marley & spreading the joy

remember mandela’s poem?

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
it is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
we ask ourselves: who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
actually, who are you not to be?
there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
your playing small does not serve the world.
and when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

“your playing small does not serve the world”.

what kind of play does serve the world?

“when we let our own world shine.”

light is something that happens. just like water streaming down a mountain happens, and air happens. nobody sits there and produces sunlight, or manufactures air, or fabricates water. and these are the most important elements in life.

what is it that i have, that you have, that shines without having to produce, manufacture, fabricate, and which brings life to the world? what can we play that brings joy to those around us?

spread it freely!

(hmmmm ... i'm listening to bob marley as i type this. he sure knew how to spread joy through the world)

take care
isabella
www.moritherapy.com

depression and poverty

an article on depression and poverty

Low-income people with depression are less likely to respond to treatment and more likely to be suicidal than those who have higher incomes, according to a study in the January issue of Archives of General Psychiatry, one of the JAMA/Archives journals. Socioeconomic factors, including income, education and occupation, have long been linked to health status, illness and death. Research has shown that people with lower socioeconomic status (SES) are more likely to develop a depressive illness and that their depression is more severe than that of people higher on the SES scale. Several studies have hypothesized that socioeconomic factors, including income and education, would also affect how people respond to medications and other therapies for depression, but have ultimately proved inconclusive, according to background information in the article.

... and my response to it:

It is laudable that Harvard has taken up the research on the connection between poverty and depression. Not having read the full article, I don’t know into how much detail the authors go regarding this connection. However, as someone who has worked with very low income populations, I would suggest that some of the connections are quite obvious and should be checked out. Let me just cite a few. Poverty affects people’s lives on all levels; "bumping" into the issue of lack of money is incredibly stressful and grinds people down. People with disabilities are more likely to be poor and more likely to suffer from depression. Lastly, we live in a culture where success is measured by how much we earn. People with low income are automatically assumed to be unsuccessful. This impacts their self esteem. These are just a few examples. And they are examples of situations that tend to create or exacerbate depression in addition to other causes of depression (chemical imbalances, tiggers such as loss of a loved one, PTSD, etc.)

what do you think?

isabella mori
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com

expectations, laws, assumptions, revolutions

good afternoon people

in the last few days, the idea of "expectations" has come up a number of times.

someone said the other day that i was picky about what i eat. this was after telling them that i can’t have any dairy products in the morning – it gives me bad cramps. i was hurt that i was called picky and defended myself by saying that it wasn’t that i was rejecting them, or having a sense of entitlement or something … and then it occurred to me: what’s wrong with feeling entitled to eat in a healthy way? what’s wrong with that kind of expectation?

some people say that expectations are premeditated resentments. as in – i expect you to do X, and if you don’t, bang, i’ll hit you over the head with a resentment. and i think to some degree that’s right, especially if the expectation is not clearly stated.

the word expectation comes from the latin expectare, which means to wait. does that help in trying to understand this concept? what am i waiting for? how long will i wait? what will i do if what i’m waiting for doesn’t happen?

laws are expectations in a sense, aren’t they? you expect me to stop at a red light. you expect me to not leave burning cigarette butts in a dry forest. you expect me to help at an accident. these expectations are so strong, they turn into assumptions. because you assume that i will stop at a red light, you pass through a green light. if we didn’t have these expectations of each other, we couldn’t function.

i guess the trick is to figure out which expectations are reasonable and life-affirming and which ones aren’t. one way to see the difference may be whether they’re unspoken or not. laws work so (relatively) well because they are very explicit, very loudly and precisely spoken.

on the other hand, if i expect my daughter to clean up her mess in the living room without telling her i can wait until the cows come home. then the cows come home and her sticky cup full of old marshmallow hot chocolate still sits on the floor in front of the TV. then i sigh, pick it up, and swear under my breath about that irresponsible brat. if that happens a few times, i build up resentments.

the truth is, if i do tell her and she still doesn’t do it, i still build up resentments. so that didn’t work. ok, how about – are these expectations reasonable and life-affirming? i would say yes. so … if i’m clear about that, do i still have to build up resentments? resentments are nasty because they hurt both the person who holds them and the person against whom they’re held.

it seems to me that if i can be really clear that my expectations are reasonable and life-affirming, i may just be able to be strong enough in asserting them. and asserting them over and over again. and eventually achieve what’s reasonable and life affirming.

this, my friends, is the stuff of revolutions. martin luther king jr. had to do a lot of asserting.

(now let’s see whether i can take my own medicine).

confused about internet surfers

good afternoon

the other day i was skulking around the internet again, using wordtracker to find out what keywords internet surfers use to look for the topics of problem drinking and anorexia. it was a pretty shocking experience.

for example, when checking what kind of keywords people used last month in connection with the word anorexic, there is hardly anything at all that would indicate that people think that anorexia, a life-threatening condition, is problematic. the most sought-after keyword was "anorexic pictures" (about 63,000 keyword searches). most of the other keywords searched for are things like this

how to become anorexic
sexy anorexic
anorexic porn
anorexic sex
anorexic nude

the same thing with alcohol. when i looked for the word "drunk", there were 27 times as many seaches for "drunk girls" as for "drunk driving" and 78 times as many searches for "drunk chicks" as for "victims of drunk driving accidents".

i understand the mechanics of this - sex, and things associated with it, is more interesting in the short run than trying to deal with personal problems - but still ...

do i sound like a dried-up old schoolmarm here?

physical well-being, emotional well-being (don't get grossed out!)

hello everyone ...

this morning i felt really crummy. my back hurt, my bones felt stiff, and my head felt all fogged up. i couldn't think straight and just wanted to crawl away but because i couldn't think straight i couldn't figure out where to.

now my back doesn't really hurt anymore, when i move my head my neck doesn't make weird creaking noises anymore, and all's well with the world!

i've always been fascinated by the huge difference our physical state can have on our emotional state. (hey, maybe that's one of the (many) reasons why i like working with people with chronic pain - don't know if i've ever seen that connection.)

you know how when you have to go to the bathroom really bad and at that moment, nothing else matters? i've always thought that's really strange. at least, from a rational point of view it seems strange. in most situations it's not as if a bathroom isn't relatively close and i know it's going to take, say, 10 minutes at the most to get there. and experience tells me i'm not going to pee (or worse) my pants.

so what's the problem? why does the world all of a sudden shrink to the thought, "i can't wait to get to the bathroom i can't wait to get to the bathroom"? why do i feel i'd happily sell my soul for a bathroom right here, right now? i mean, this is not exactly life threatening!

by the way, i'm not alone in this. there is a scene in ken follett's jackdaws where an older lady is tortured simply by plying her with ample amounts of food, coffee and beer and then not letting her go to the bathroom. she ends up betraying her friends from the french resistance.

i could finish all this with something about "matter over mind" being stronger than "mind over matter" - sometimes, at least. but i suspect that's the wrong way of looking at it. in the end, it's probably more useful to experience body (matter) and mind as one entity, not as one "having" the other, dominating the other.

lots of stuff to think about here ...

(i hope you don't find this gross. my german background, combined with my husband's japanese influence, leaves me somewhat insensitive to the north american aversion to discussing such matters. there isn't even the equivalence of "bathroom humour" in the german language)

no-speak

i just realized i've never posted a poem here. it's about time, then!

here is one, written during a retreat at lovely rivendell:


i sit in silence,
no-speak;
freed from the clutter of
what-do-i-say-next,
i hear.
i hear beside me
the chatter of my friends -
those lovely rising and falling sounds,
honey to my ears:
crickets chirping among the most fragrant flowers of summer.

change therapy, kindness therapy

good afternoon!

if change therapy means to attend - to pay close attention - to change, and if we all want to have and see more kindness in this world - then why don't we attend to change this! boy, that almost sounds like something that brock tully would say (only he'd do it much more smoothly:)

so it occurred to me that we could have a conversation about what kindnesses we have given the world lately, and what kindnesses we have received. a sort of kindness inventory!

i'll start with three things ...

(hm, this is not so easy. it feels like bragging ...)

okay.

kindnesses i have received:

- wonderful friends who helped me renovate my office
- people at an institution who were incredibly unbureaucratic towards me
- my 9-year-old daughter, who gives me these wonderful, soft "baby butterfly kisses"

and three things i've done:

- donated regularly to "my" three charities: foster parents, habitat for humanity, and amnesty international
- volunteered with a few organizations, e.g. canadian mental health association
- helped a friend find a shelter

okay ... why don't you write down what you've done? you can post anonymously if you wish ...

depression and self reflection

timothy wilson, an editor at the new york times, has this to say about self reflection and depression:

Research by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, a clinical psychologist at Yale University, shows that when people are depressed, ruminating on their problems makes things worse.

In one study, mildly depressed college students were asked to spend eight minutes thinking about themselves or to spend the same amount of time thinking about mundane topics like "clouds forming in the sky."

People in the first group focused on the negative things in their lives and sunk into a worse mood. People in the other group actually felt better afterward, possibly because their negative self-focus was "turned off" by the distraction task.

What about people like police officers and firefighters who witness terrible events? Is it helpful for them to reflect on their experiences?

For years it was believed that emergency workers should undergo a debriefing process to focus on and relive their experiences; the idea was that this would make them feel better and prevent mental health problems down the road. After 9/11, for example, well-meaning counselors flocked to New York to help police officers, firefighters and rescue workers deal with the trauma of what they had seen.

But did it do any good? In an extensive review of the research, a team led by Richard McNally, a clinical psychologist at Harvard, concluded that debriefing procedures have little benefit and might even hurt by interrupting the normal healing process. People often distract themselves from thinking about painful events right after they occur, and this may be better than mentally reliving the events.

What can we do to improve ourselves and feel happier? Numerous social psychological studies have confirmed Aristotle's observation that "We become just by the practice of just actions, self-controlled by exercising self-control, and courageous by performing acts of courage." If we are dissatisfied with some aspect of our lives, one of the best approaches is to act more like the person we want to be, rather than sitting around analyzing ourselves.

Social psychologist Daniel Batson and colleagues at the University of Kansas found that participants who were given an opportunity to do a favor for another person ended up viewing themselves as kind, considerate people - unless, that is, they were asked to reflect on why they had done the favor. People in that group tended in the end to not view themselves as being especially kind.

The trick is to go out of our way to be kind to others without thinking too much about why we're doing it. As a bonus, our kindnesses will make us happier.

A study by University of California, Riverside, social psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and colleagues found that college students instructed to do a few acts of kindness one day a week ended up being happier than a control group of students who received no special instructions.

As the new year begins, then, reach out and help others. If that sounds suspiciously like an old Motown song or like simplistic advice from one of those do-gooder college professors, well, it is. But the fact is that being good to others will ultimately make us kinder, happier people - just so long as we don't think too much about it.


isabella mori
counselling in vancouver
www.moritherapy.com